just get up and do it

I have been extremely lazy lately, as you can probably tell from the lack of posts. The whole two kids, two dogs, a house and a husband thing has been keeping me busy and in the down time when both kids are napping, I was feeding my semi-embarrassing addiction to The Carrie Diaries on Netflix. Now that I have finished the only season, it is time to jump back on the wagon and get going again.

For a few weeks now I have been setting my alarm for 5:15a with the intent of getting up, working out and starting my day without kids present and before the excuses can really get in my way. My poor baby has become the scapegoat for my laziness. Oh, Frank woke up once last night, I can't wake up at 5:15 to workout. He's teething, he's cranky all day, when he naps, I deserve to watch TV and not to anything to better my physical health. When Frank is awake while Norah is napping, game over. I can only do so many push ups with him underneath me.

So, all that rambling led to me finally biting the bullet, and waking up at 5:09a today and, drum roll please, working out! I had coffee in silence (all you caffeine addicted moms out there know how amazing this is) finished an entire cup while still warm without using the microwave to keep it that way, watched a bit of the news, and ran a few miles on the treadmill. I was very quickly reminded how much I hate, no, loathe, running on a treadmill, and dreamed of the days my kids will be in Kindergarten and I can go on the open road for as long as I'd like, you know, until pick up.

I will say this about the treadmill; I don't have to fight with the kids to stop screaming while in the double Bob. I can just run and get it done without the external dialogue. The internal fighting with myself to not look at the display screen and to just keep going is a whole other story.

I have decided that I will get up early three mornings a week and work out before the children rise. I feel great, already did two loads of laundry, fed the minions, fed myself, thought about cleaning the house, and ironed a table runner. <---That last one shocked me, too. Who irons a table runner? Apparently, this gal does!

I urge you all to wake up early, and do a workout. Even if it's a mini one. I am aware that not everyone has the luxury of a home gym, but I'm pretty sure everyone reading this has a chair, a clock, and some random household items that can be used as weights. Check out the traveler's workout I posted a while back. This can be done right when you wake up and jump start your day. You can also set a clock for three minutes and knock out as many Burpees as you can in those three minutes. It's fantastic.

I've laid out the steps nice and easy for you:

there really is a pill for everything

I was watching The Doctors while folding clothes (oh, the glamour while children nap) and saw a segment on a pill that can replace gastric bypass surgery for those who cannot afford or do not want such an invasive method for assisted weight loss.

What I've gathered from the segment and from the minimal amount of information a basic Internet search could dig up on this, it's available in the UK quite readily and seems ridiculous. It's a little oval pill looking thing attached to a piece of string (catheter). The patient swallows the entire thing, string and all, once the pill reaches the stomach, air is blown into the catheter to inflate the pill which now acts as a balloon. The catheter is then removed and you are left with non organic matter in your stomach making you feel full. A foreign object in your stomach. Voluntarily.

The weight loss is not rapid, according to this article participants in a clinical study were losing an average of three pounds in twelve weeks. I hope this is a typo. If someone is willing to swallow a balloon, I'd hope it would be for a more drastic result. You can lose way more weight than that by exercising, drinking more water, and eating healthier. The article also recommends the pill for people who have a BMI greater than 27. A person with a BMI greater than 27 can lose a significant amount of weight by walking around the block twice a day and not changing eating habits at all, only without a piece of plastic-like crap in your stomach.

This article reports that the pill can make patients lose up to twenty pounds in three months. Again, more rapid weight loss is possible with a little hard work and some small life changes. The article also states that you can swallow up to three of these balloons in a twelve week period if you really want to up the weight loss.

Just something to think about. Everyone is going to have different desires when it comes to weight loss. Some people want to work out, some people want the surgery (or need it medically), and some people may be able to choose to swallow a balloon. I think that mental and physical health go hand in hand, so people who are significantly overweight may want to consult a psychologist to aid in the weight loss process (more on this topic in a post to come).

I am a huge supporter of lifestyle change, I can even get behind gastric bypass, but I don't think I can be on board with swallowing a balloon to make your stomach fuller.  Seriously...drink a bunch of water before you sit down to eat. You will eat less and be more hydrated!

back to processed food

It's been a while. I apologize. I was going to write about how wonderful it was to bite into a Goldfish cracker on April 1st and how much easier life is with convenience foods, but, after a week of being back on processed foods (minimal, but back), I have to say that I will be reverting to an unprocessed lifestyle permanently. I'm not going to go completely overboard and never eat a cracker, but I will be much more mindful of the things I put in my body and the bodies of my children. Matt is a big boy, he's on his own!

A recap on what worked and what didn't in case you would like to make some small changes:

Snack Food--sucks to make on your own. The time it takes to make crackers from start to finish baking can be more than an hour. The recipe I like the best turns out several dozen, but they are eaten just as quickly. Delicious? Yes. Practical? Not always. This is one of those things where I would go the organic route at the grocery store. And try to get whole wheat crackers. We were successful in making our own hummus and it was very cost effective, but when we ran out of the crackers to dip into it, the hummus sat uneaten and was thrown away. We will continue making our own hummus and other dips, just using little store bought vessels. And vegetables! Snacking on bell peppers of all colors became a new habit that I will keep going. Especially with the toddler, she was a big fan!

Meals--I actually had to prepare meals. Not just dinner. Lunch, breakfast, third meal, the other nine thousand meals my toddler demands a day. It was exhausting. We ate out three times all month. That's it. Three. That is a lot of home cooked meals. I hate cooking. It was torture. But it was pretty tasty! We made our own pasta (easy and delicious), lots of fish, veggies, etc. I planned out the dinners for the entire month beforehand and stuck to what I wrote out about fifty percent of the time. Once we went back to incorporating convenience foods like store bought tortillas and pasta, it was very clear that the fresh stuff was much better. Due to a time constraint and two very needy little people in my life, the fancy stuff will have to wait for the weekends.

Bread--Homemade bread is something I grew up with, so I have some experience making it. It was nice to have fresh bread every week. Especially the week Matt made sourdough. I knew I married the right guy! It was amazing. He feeds his starter every other day and the end result is a delicious round of carbohydrates. Bread is something we will continue to make and not buy whenever possible.

So. It wasn't easy, but it also wasn't as terrible as I anticipated.  The only major pain the ass was the snacking. We ate a lot of Cuties and Halos last month. I realized about a week into it that I picked the wrong month to go unprocessed. March has 31 days. I should have done February.

I urge you all to try and make one small change for next month to get something processed out of your current diet. Maybe soda? Potato chips? By the way, those things suck to make. I tried doing them as baked chips several times and they were a disaster.

Happy Healthy Eating! Next post won't be so boring :)

overfed and undernourished: Hungry for Change

Yesterday a miracle occurred in my house; both kids napped, at the same time, for over two hours! I decided to not be productive at all out of fear for one of them waking as soon as I started cleaning and watched a documentary instead.

Hungry for Change (watch the trailer here) is a great documentary that is extremely informative and made me think even longer and harder about the food I am putting in my own body and the bodies of those I love most in the world. My family and I are still in the midst of our month of unprocessed foods, and up until yesterday afternoon, I was so excited to eat some Goldfish crackers on April 1, but that will no longer be happening.

The thing that stood out the most to me was how terrible aspartame is for you. We all have heard that this stuff is bad for you and can trick your body and actually make you gain weight. I used to be a total fiend for Diet Coke, but in recent years have learned the error of my ways. What I didn't know is that pilots aren't allowed to drink diet soda because it is a well-known fact in the aerospace world that it can really dick with your eyesight and put one's career and the passengers on board in danger. Pretty scary.

The underlying theme of the film is that Americans in particular are obese because they are overfed and undernourished. We are consuming a ridiculous amount of food, but it is mostly food made in a lab composed of mostly chemicals to make it taste like a better, sweeter version of the original food product. The body is an amazing thing that knows what it needs to eat and when it is not getting the necessary nutrients, it goes into starvation mode and starts saving food as fat to prepare for what it sees as a famine. This makes a lot more sense the way they explain it. Put food in your body that it was made to break down: animal products, fruit, and vegetables. Eliminate white sugar, white flour, and overly processed foods.

There is so much great information in this documentary, I highly suggest everyone watch it and then tell those they love to watch it. It isn't some fad thing. It is just very informative. Once you are armed with information (whether or not you agree with it) you can make educated decisions.

AmazonPrime is streaming it for free. I believe it is on Netflix. Again, the film is called Hungry for Change.

Happy Day! Go do ten push ups and eat something green today!

skinny people have feelings, too.

Here's your warning: this is a bit of a rant, but it will be an informative one.

I have been relatively thin my whole life. I wasn't blessed with boobs or an ass. I still have acne well into my adult life. I have chicken legs. I have been teased for everything mentioned here for as long as I can remember. In high school and college, I had man shoulders due to a ridiculous amount of time spent swimming and lifting weights. I was teased for that. Nobody seems to care though, because I was being teased for a "good problem."

This "positive teasing" has flowed into my adult life. I am one of those "bitches" who bounce back after pregnancy very quickly. I am one of those "bitches" who doesn't gain a ridiculous amount of weight while pregnant. I am one of those "bitches" who paid attention to my diet, didn't use pregnancy as an excuse to shovel a ton of shit food into my mouth all day long and who continued to exercise moderately throughout pregnancy. I worked hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle while safely cultivating a new life inside of me. Yet, I am a bitch because of it. I am "lucky." It must be my good genes. It must have absolutely nothing to do with hard work and healthy choices. Therefore, I am fair game to make fun of, ridicule, and have some pretty nasty things said.

While pregnant, I had several people say things to me along the lines of, "wow. maybe you should eat so that baby can grow." These types of comments were always masked with a smile or a bullshit chuckle at the end, but I knew that these people were not joking. Once my babies came and my body went back into decent shape, it was open season for strangers to make comments about how starving myself isn't going to help my milk supply. How me choosing to put an emphasis on body image and working out is going to severely damage my young daughter. I am here to tell these people to kick rocks. You suck, people. I am not damaging my young daughter by demonstrating a healthy lifestyle. We don't discuss body shapes, sizes, and feelings of fatness. She is two. She is amazing. And she is not on the growth curve for her age. She is tiny. She is already set up to have a life of being on the skinny side and inevitable ridicule for it. But there is nothing she can do about it. Teachers won't care. They'll say that it's a good thing. If she were ever to fire back to an insult of "do you ever eat?" with "do you ever stop eating?" to a chubby classmate, I'm sure I would get a call home.

This culture of "big is beautiful" and "real women have curves" has gotten out of control. It is now making it so being clinically overweight is normal and acceptable. People should be heavier, skinny is gross. Well, folks, that just doesn't seem right. I am not talking about clinically underweight, airbrushed model skinny. I'm talking a healthy BMI (weight to height ratio) versus an unhealthy one. In either direction.

This country is so damn concerned with not hurting people's feelings, and making sure everyone is comfortable in their own skin. Well, there is a huge effing problem with obesity. Our children will not outlive us because they are set up to be overweight and be OK with it. Love your body. Love your rolls. What is wrong with this? Being overweight is clinically liked to major health problems. Heart disease, diabetes, joint issues, loss of bone mass, etc. Why do we want to cultivate this?

I just saw a news story that a woman at a Planet Fitness in the east bay was told to change her her clothes while working out because her "toned arms were intimidating other patrons." WTF. She was walking on a treadmill and had a tank top on. I highly doubt if a "toned" person approached a staff member to complain about an overweight person's revealing outfit, it would not be handled the same way.

Both are wrong. We shouldn't care about what other people are wearing while working out. Focus on yourself. Focus on what you need to do. Who cares. Does my wearing a tank top make you feel badly about yourself because I have toned arms? DO SOMETHING. I bust my ass running. I lift weights. I like doing yoga. I like testing my physical limits. You don't? That's fine. It doesn't concern me. I love the adrenaline rush after running ten miles. I love the feeling of lifting more than I have. I love that my chest can now touch my thighs while doing a forward bend. I love seeing physical improvement. It moves me. It motivates me. It is a huge part of my life. Stop calling me a bitch for being thin and in shape. Stop offering to make me a sandwich. Stop with the anorexic jokes. It's not funny. It's hurtful. It's mean.

I can handle myself. I can handle the jokes and the comments. I'm used to it. What I can't handle, is the comments already starting with my daughter. She is small. She is thin. My son is shaping up to be the same way. I want them both to love their bodies. I don't want them feeling bad about themselves because they're small and their classmates are average or overweight. Body image issues go both ways.

Think about what you're about to say before you make fun of a skinny person next. Or a fit person. I welcome all people to come do a workout with me, then you can make fun of me. I work hard, I like it. I don't wear revealing clothing. I don't focus on my small size. You do. You make it an issue for yourself. Get over it.

walking lunges

Walking lunges are one of my favorite things. Yes, they suck while you're doing them. Yes, they suck the day after if you are just starting, but boy, do they sure make your ass and thighs look good! They are so beneficial to your body and stamina and so simple! You can literally do these anywhere. Sure, you may feel self conscious walking around the mall doing lunges, but hey, anyone who judges you is just super jealous that they either A. don't have the amazing capacity to do such an incredible exercise or B. lack the self confidence to bust out some sweet lunges in public. Either way, they can suck it. You'll look fabulous in no time!

Now, if walking lunges in public isn't your thing, no worries, here is a short list of where you can do them: in your house, in your yard, while walking the dog, in your office, in the bathroom at work, at the gym, at the park, at the dog park, in the sandbox,... You get the point. There are no excuses to NOT do these bad boys other than injury and laziness.

When you click out of this blog and put down your phone or laptop, do walking lunges to your next destination. Going from the couch to the kitchen? Lunge to it! Bedroom to bathroom? Lunge to it! Is this blog your toilet reading? Lunge out of the John. As always, start small and build up. Do ten walking lunges (5 with each leg) the first day, then add 10 each day after. Soon you'll be noticing your tooshie getting higher and firmer. And so will your partner.

Not sure how to do a walking lunge? Check out this video. Your back knee will want to come close to the ground and your front knee will bend making a 90 degree angle. It is imperative to not let that front knee go past your toes. That is when injuries will happen.

Happy Lunging, friends!

listerine

I know that we are going unprocessed this month, but I am going to share with you all my love for Listerine. Yes, Listerine. That disgusting pure alcohol tasting mouth wash that is probably doing much more harm than good.

Do you ever find yourself making cookies and eating the better part of the raw dough? Me, too. Only it's quite sad how much cookie dough I can put away. It's probably the main reason I started distance running all those years ago. I LOVE me some raw dough! Baked cookies are okay, but dough is my Achilles's heel. I was starting to read up on the dangers of raw eggs, but it didn't do any good. The sweet, sweet taste of raw cookie dough is worth the tiny risk of salmonella and a day or two of puking. That's a totally rational thought, right? Then I discovered a new purpose for Listerine.

When I am in the throws of baking and wanting to eat a week's worth of calories in one glorious afternoon, I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and swish with Listerine. The full thirty seconds. It burns, and it sucks, but I don't want to put another spoonful (big, wooden spoonful) of dough in my mouth.

Cookie dough not your thing? It works when you're halfway through that bag of chips, ice cream, anything! Are you trying to stop drinking soda? When you're craving one, go brush your teeth and swish some rinse. It will make your teeth happy and your stomach happy.  The best part of Listerine is that they come in those cute travel bottles so you can keep one in your desk at work, your purse, gym bag, diaper bag (out of reach of grabby kid hands), pretty much anywhere you fancy.

Now you know one of my weird little things.